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franklin_bashTitle: Thirteen “Incidents” That Most Certainly Did Not Happen Under the Mistletoe at the Infeld-Daniels Christmas Party, Shut Up Pindar! (Except They Totally Did)
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
teh_bug
Paring: gen(?); alternatively, most pairings you can think of and then some...
Rating: PG
Prompt: #7
Words: ~2700
Summary: What happens under the mistletoe at the Infeld-Daniels Christmas party, stays under the mistletoe....
Warnings: Kissing, so much kissing...
Notes: To borrow from the legendary siegeofangels and her SGA fic “Friendly Competition,” there comes a time in every fangirl's life where she must choose between perfectly accurate characterization and plot...and Stanton and Carmen making out under the mistletoe.... If it helps, just imagine everyone is as inebriated as necessary to make this believable. Also, I apologize for running screaming away from the plot prompt.
1. The Incident Between Damien and Peter That Is Never to Be Mentioned Again
“What do you mean you kissed Karp?!” Jared's jaw dropped open like a cow's, “Where was I?!”
“I don't know, hitting on Stanton's secretary?” Peter waved a dismissive hand. “It wasn't a big deal.”
“You kissed Karp!” repeated Jared, in a tone that implied it was actually a big deal.
“I was in the heat of the moment! People were shouting at me to go for it, so I went for it!”
“You kissed Karp?!”
“He kissed back!”
“I..” Jared thought for a moment and leaned in, “So, uh, how was it?”
“Just between you and me,” Peter gave the immediate vicinity a quick scan, “Honestly, not nearly as bad you would think.”
“I can't believe you kissed Peter.”
Damien closed eyes and rubbed his forehead in not so subtle attempt to rub the memory away, “I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about this ever again?”
“Oh no, you agreed we weren't talking about it again,” said Hanna in a scarily serious tone. “I intend to bring this up at every Christmas party from now until retirement.”
“I'm done with Stanton's eggnog for the night...”
“I don't see why you should be.”
Damien gave Hanna a skeptical look.
Hanna spread her hands matter-of-factly, “All I'm saying is it was kinda hot.”
“It was pretty hot,” agreed Carmen coming up beside them with cups of eggnog in each hand. She gave Hanna an understanding nod and offered one to Damien, “You should probably repeat it sometime.”
Damien shook his head and pushed the hand holding the cup away, “I think I'm good for the night.”
“Oh no, no, no,” said Hanna and pushed the cup into Damien's hand. “The night is young and the decorators have been generous with the mistletoe. Drink up."
Damien sighed in resignation and took a long swig of eggnog. “He kissed like a girl.” He added as an afterthought.
2. The Incident with Hanna and Jared “For Old Time's Sake.”
“Old time's sake?” Hanna repeated amused and slightly sarcastic. “What old times? You mean that one time we got together at your place?”
“Hey,” Jared held up an objecting hand, “we've gotten together plenty more times than that.”
“Really?” said Hanna disbelievingly, but her lips quirked upwards. “Funny how I don't remember any of them.”
“Well, that's 'cause they were all in my head,” conceded Jared unashamedly, “but at least one of us was having sex at the time, so I think that should count for something.”
Hanna chuckled warmly and bent down to press a warm, dry kiss on Jared's lips. “Merry Christmas, Jared.”
3. The Incident with Pindar and Damien That Turned Out Much Better Than Expected
Pindar coughed into his hand and shuffled his feet awkwardly.
Damien tapped on his phone and didn't look up.
Pindar coughed again louder and looked at the mistletoe pointedly.
Damien glanced up briefly and followed Pindar's gaze. He gave Pindar an incredulous stare in return. “Seriously?”
“Well, it is the Christmas season,” Pindar folded his arms defiantly. “Excuse me, if I just want to have some fun, Mr. Scrooge.” He hesitated and then puckered his lips expectantly.
Damien rolled his eyes and slipped his phone back into his pocket. In three long, lazy strides, he spanned the distance between them. He cupped the back of Pindar's head in one easy motion and pressed their lips together firmly.
“Satisfied?” Damien asked, pulling back.
“Oh, you just-” Pindar tittered and made an almost swoon-like motion, “I didn't think you would...”
Damien shook his head and walked away.
4. The Incident with Stanton and Carmen that Stunned Everyone Besides Damien
“Did....did that just happen?” Peter gaped.
“Yep,” Damien took a deeper drink of eggnog.
“He...he...he...just...” Jared floundered. “Stanton just...”
“Yeah,” Damien nodded unreassuringly, “He does that from time to time.”
“His...his mouth...”
“His tongue...”
“His hands!”
“I'm honestly surprised it's taken him this long. Normally, he manages to get a girl under the mistletoe about thirty minutes in,” said Damien with the nonchalance of a war-scarred veteran. He gestured with his drink. “You'll noticed how she's not exactly pushing him off.”
Peter and Jared turned to Damien with twin looks of horror and confusion. “Is he really that good?”
Damien shrugged. “I dunno. He's my uncle. I've never kissed him.” He looked over to his companion. “Hanna?”
Peter and Jared swiveled on their heels. “Hanna?”
Hanna sighed and covered her face. “I was young and stupid....and tipsy...”
“And....?” pressed Peter.
“Inquiring minds want to know,” insisted Jared.
Hanna didn't make eye contact with Damien. “He's... not too bad.” She allowed.
“And that doesn't bother you?” Jared asked Damien in a tone that rang with shock and more than a little disbelief.
“Not particularly,” said Damien almost boredly. “It used to, but then I had a date go home with him and I realized there were worse things that could happen.”
5. The Incident with Hanna and Peter That was Almost a Conflict of Interest
“Hey there,” said Hanna catching Peter by the arm as he walked by.
“Hey yourself,” said Peter, turning back to face her.
Hanna pointed at the mistletoe hanging above them. “Shall we?”
“Uh...” Peter looked at the mistletoe and then to Hanna and then back to the mistletoe and finally at Hanna. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Yeah, yeah, I guess we should...”
Hanna's lips twisted down confused and slightly annoyed. “Is something wrong? Did you not want to?”
“No, no, no, I totally want to,” said Peter without maintaining extended eyecontact.
“Then what's the problem?” asked Hanna slowly, putting her hand on her hip.
“It's just...” Peter began awkwardly.
“It's just...?”
“It's just...I can't,” Peter took a step back, “I'm sorry, Hanna. It's not that you aren't smoking hot, 'cause you are, obviously.”
“Obviously,” agreed Hanna. She crossed her arms.
“But, see you've already slept with Jared and there's that whole bros before hos thing...” Peter froze at the sudden darkening expression on Hanna's face as the words that jumped out of his mouth finally caught up to him. “Not that you're a ho or anything, I mean, you're most definitely not,” he furiously backpedaled, “this is the 21st century, women should be free to have sex with whoever, whenever they want...”
“Oh just shut up,” said Hanna and pulled him down for a fast, hard kiss.
6. The Roomie-Incident with Carmen and Pindar
“Merry Christmas, Carmen!” said Pindar cheerily and pursed his lips hopefully.
Carmen hesitated for a second, sighed, and then with all the compassion of a loving roommate, kissed Pindar full on the lips. “Merry Christmas, Pindar.”
Pindar grinned triumphantly, “I love this tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. I've already kissed so many people.” He leaned forward conspiratorially. “I've even kissed Karp!”
Carmen blinked twice in confused astonishment. “Good for you! Maybe next you should try for Hanna.”
7. The Incident Under the Mistletoe with Hanna and Pindar That...Wait, What?!
“Shouldn't you be writhing in jealousy right about now?” asked Jared, gaping open-mouthed at the scene under the mistletoe.
“Yeah,” added Peter in a similarly stunned state. “He is totally macking on your ex-girlfriend. You should, you know...” He flopped his hand theatrically in their direction. “Go stop that or something.”
“Honestly, I'm more impressed than anything,” admitted Damien. “I never thought he'd get up the courage to anything like that.”
“I'm not surprised,” said Stanton happily. “I don't see why you people always underestimate him. Pindar's got quite a lot going for him.”
“Get it, Pindar,” cheered Carmen encouragingly.
8. The Incident Where Carmen Tried to Figure Out What Hanna Saw in Damien
“Hey,” said Carmen.
Damien gave one last quick glance at his phone and tucked it back into his pocket, “Hey yourself.”
“So, uh, did you want to...?” Carmen gestured meaningfully upward at the mistletoe.
“Oh, yeah,” Damien said with light tinge of awkwardness, “sure.” He leaned down and covered her lips gently with his.
“Huh,” Carmen said moments later, as she stepped back breaking the kiss.
Damien tilted his head quizzically, “Huh?”
“Yeah,” said Carmen, “huh.” A small smile curled around the corners of her mouth and lifted her cheeks. “I think I see what Hanna saw in you.”
Damien smirked, “Contrary to what she may tell you, that's not my only talent.”
“I wouldn't be surprised,” said Carmen and winked at him salaciously.
9. The Incident Between Carmen and Hanna That was Mind-Meltingly Hot, NO! WAIT! WHYAREYOU STOPPING?!
“I...I..wow,” said Peter.
“Wow,” agreed Damien.
“Are they...are they actually...” Jared trailed off distractedly. His mouth flapped open fish-like, “Am I dreaming?”
“If you are, buddy, than we're having the same fantastic dream,” replied Peter in a voice that sounded only three steps away from being delirious.
“So...hot...” whispered Pindar in awe.
“Now if only one of them would just cup – hey, wait!” Jared protested as the ladies began to separate. “What are you doing?! It was just getting good!”
“Easy! Down boy,” Peter put a hand on Jared's shoulder. “Let them go. Do you really want to attract their attention and make them think that you were objectifying them rather than respecting them as the strong, powerful, very scary women that they are?”
Damien snorted through his nose, “Because of course, you weren't.”
“Oh, don't even pretend like you weren't thinking the exact same thing, Karp!” Peter held up a hand dramatically, “two fine ladies start touching each other and suddenly the world becomes a much hotter place for a few glorious, glorious minutes.”
“So hot....” echoed Pindar again, moonily, “so, so, so hot....”
“That was....yeah,” Damien quirked his head to the side and grinned a little crookedly at a spot somewhere to the left of Peter's head.
Jared clapped his hands together decisively, “Well, gentlemen, I don't know about you, but I know what I'm dreaming about tonight.”
10. The Roomie-Incident with Peter&Jared and Pindar that Carmen Managed to Escape
“Hey,” said Jared with all the enthusiasm of someone who's no longer entirely sober, “You know what we should do? We should do something to show how much we care about each other! Because, you know, we're roomies and all.”
“Yeah!” agreed Peter with all the enthusiasm of a no longer entirely sober person in possession of a brand new idea. “We should!”
“Oh no,” said Carmen with all the horror of someone who knows what happens when two no longer sober people make plans. She abruptly made an about-face and walked away. “Good luck, Pindy.”
“Wait, why do I need good luck?” asked Pindar worriedly.
“Aw, Carmen!” pouted Jared, “don't be like that.”
“It's okay, buddy,” Peter reassured, “we'll get her later.”
In unison, they turned towards Pindar. “Roomie kiss!” They chorused.
“Oh no,” said Pindar as two pairs of sticky, sweet lips descended upon him.
11. The Incident Where Jared is Way Too Handsy and Damien Is Too Drunk to Be Annoyed
“Kaarrrppp!” Jared grinned tipsily. He tottered unsteadily and curled a greedy hand around Damien's tie. “C'me here, hot stuff,” he said, pulling Damien down.
“Mmff,” said Damien, resisting less than he'd remember later and bracing himself against Jared's shoulder.
Jared twisted his mouth free and laughed. His eyes sparkled, “How come we haven't done this before?”
“'Cause you're an ass and I hate you,” said Damien simply. He licked his lips automatically and frowned unsurely, “Also, I'm not gay. I don't think you are either.”
“Huh,” said Jared consideringly and gave Damien a firm slap on the rump, “Too bad.”
12. The Roomie-Incident with Peter&Jared That Carmen Didn't Manage to Escape But Pindar Did
“Carmen!” called out Peter. His eyes twinkled with triumph as he spotted his quarry.
“Roomie-Kiss!” he chorused with Jared. In conjunction, the duo simultaneously pressed lazy wet kisses on either side of Carmen's mouth.
“Oh, ew,” Carmen half-heartedly tried to push them off. “You guys are terrible kissers.”
“That's not true,” protested Jared. He planted another sloppy kiss on Carmen's cheek. “Everyone says my kisses are amazing.”
“Your mom says my kisses are amazing,” Peter snickered and draped his arms around Carmen in a painfully similar fashion to that of an octopus.
“Your grandma says my kisses are amazing,” Jared retorted happily and wrapped his arms around both Peter and Carmen.
Carmen groaned dramatically, “I'm moving out.”
13. The Incident with Stanton and Peter That Stunned Damien
“I really don't get why you're treating this like it's such a big deal,” said Carmen nonchalantly.
Damien made a strangled sounding noise and lifted a shaking glass of eggnog to his lips.
“It's not like it's any different than Stanton kissing Carmen,” said Jared picking up the train of thought and sounding just as casual about it and comfortably non-sober. He burped.
Damien choked on his eggnog. “It's very different,” he squeaked out in between coughs. “He never does this!”
Hanna patted Damien's back helpfully and rubbed it in slow, long circles. “He's just kissing a coworker.”
“He's kissing Bash!” complained Damien, sounding betrayed.
“But...didn't you kiss Peter?” pointed out Pindar in what was intended to be a helpful tone.
Damien made another pained noise and downed the rest of his eggnog.
“Hey, Peter!” Jared called out as the kissers broke apart. “Which one kisses better?”
Bonus The First: The Incident That Absolutely Everyone Else Saw Coming (Except Peter and Jared)
“Oh please,” said Damien unsympathetically. “They're acting like this is the first time they've ever done this.”
“You think they go about practicing or something?” asked Hanna without taking her eyes off of the duo presently sucking face under the mistletoe.
“Not in front of me, they don't,” said Carmen. She gave a lazy shrug. “I'm pretty sure I'd have picked up on it sooner or later.”
“Well, they are always going into each other's room late at night,” Pindar reasonably, “if they wanted to make out with each other without anyone knowing, they could be doing it in there.”
“Yeah, but this is Franklin and Bash,” argued Carmen. “It's not like they're the picture perfect example of discreet.”
“Or secretive,” agreed Hanna.
“Or tasteful,” put in Damien.
“I think you're being too critical of the boys,” said Stanton affably, “sometimes things happen between close friends once there's been a touch too much of alcohol and pesky things like personal boundaries have been forgotten.”
Damien made a face like he never wanted to hear the story behind that explanation. “On the other hand, they've been going at it like this for a few minutes now.”
“And it doesn't look like they're planning on stopping anytime soon,” said Hanna.
Stanton paused for a moment, “Yes, well, perhaps they practice then. To each their own.”
Bonus The Second: The Other Incident That Absolutely Everyone Else Saw Coming, Even Damien and Hanna
“Hi,” said Damien quietly with a soft, small smile.
“Hi,” said Hanna in a tone that other people might consider almost shy.
Gently, he placed a hand on Hanna's waist. “May I?” he asked.
“Yeah,” said Hanna looking into Damien's eyes, “of course.”
As light and as chaste as if he were kissing a rose, Damien pressed his lips against hers. “Merry Christmas, Hanna.”
“Merry Christmas, Damien.”
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no subject
Date: 2012-01-02 04:52 am (UTC)But I'll say it again anyways:
This is really awesome.
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Date: 2012-01-02 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-02 12:23 pm (UTC)There is so much to love in this fic, but I particularly enjoyed both Peter and Jared's kisses with Damien, the kiss between Hanna and Carmen (and I knew I wasn't the only person to think that that was a good idea!) and the obvious but oh-so-needed kiss between Peter and Jared.
I particularly enjoyed the way that a lot of the kisses were viewed through the reactions of the onlookers because it was lot more amusing that way. And also, your section headings, as ever, are just awesome! I'm so glad you just went with all the kissing and thank you for filling my prompt so brilliantly!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 10:12 pm (UTC)Hee! Yeah, I had fun making the rarepairs kiss, but I knew if I left out the Peter/Jared kiss, fandom would collectively frown on me...
Originally, when I started this fic, it was going to be more party focused with the kisses sprinkled in, so most of the kisses that were from different POVs were the ones that got written first, lol. I'm glad you liked them! They were the kisses I was most worried about being liked. :D
Not a problem! Your prompt was fun to write for! :D
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Date: 2012-01-02 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 10:15 pm (UTC)Heehee! In the first episode, where Damien makes a comment like, "He's not kidding," in regards to other people's dates going home with him, I was like, "Oh! There speaks one with the voice of experience."
It was so fun to ruffle his feathers with the whole Bash thing! It's one thing to hire F&B, it's another thing to kiss them. :P Heeheeheehee!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 10:34 pm (UTC)Unless ... she'd doing it to make Damien jealous.
I have this odd idea that Damien should meet someone at a F&B party. Loving the irony.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 11:34 pm (UTC)Mmmmmm....I feel like towards the end of the season, the writers were trying to show how "good and calm" Damien&Hanna were.... I think she's past the point of petty acts of jealousy.... But I would totally be okay with her dating a scumgbag and Damien NOT BEING OKAY with it.
I really, really want Damien to bond with a female friend of F&B's. Like maybe F or B has a younger sister that's super studious and annoyed with them for being, er, F&B and then bonds with the super studious Damien.... Or dates, whichever. :P
no subject
Date: 2012-01-14 12:24 am (UTC)Bonding, dating, making adorable babies--it could all be good.
Protective!Damien I could like. I could like very much.
...too short? Or awkwardly adorable short?
Date: 2012-01-14 03:30 am (UTC)"Dude, how was I supposed to know they would hit it off!" Peter hissed back. "I only left them alone for a second!"
"It takes more than a second for people to start sucking face, Peter!" Jared ran his hands through his hair in dismay. "She doesn't even come up to his chest!"
"She can always just sit on his lap," said Pindar thoughtfully.
"Pindar!" Jared made a betrayed noise.
Peter made a frantic 'kill the discussion' slash at his throat.
"I'm just saying," Pindar muttered to himself.
"Or I bet he's got enough upper body strength to lift her up," said Carmen thoughtfully.
"Carmen!" said Peter, with a pointed look back at Jared.
Carmen shrugged. "I'm not blind. I bet Jared's sister isn't either."
Jared screamed into his hands.
Re: ...too short? Or awkwardly adorable short?
Date: 2012-01-14 03:43 am (UTC)This coming from a 5'1" woman married to a 6'3" man. Go figure.
Re: ...too short? Or awkwardly adorable short?
Date: 2012-01-14 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-14 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-02 07:40 pm (UTC)I loved that Carmen cheered on Pindar when he kissed Hanna
I loved Pindar's deduction about Peter and Jared kiss
I loved roomie-kiss!!
I loved drunk!Peter agreeing to drunk!Jared's plans, because it was such a good plan!!
no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 10:18 pm (UTC)Of course, Carmen would cheer on Pindar! That's what roomies are for!
Heeheehee! The roomie-kisses were fun to write! Those four make such a happy nest! :D
Thanks for your nice words! :D
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Date: 2012-01-03 05:02 pm (UTC)I love Carmen kissing Hanna, I think Carmen kissing Hanna is something I need a LOT more of in my life, although obviously Damien kissing Hanna alksjdflaskdf <3
I love that Stanton kissed Peter. OH GOD. I am slightly ashamed, but . . . I kind of really like the idea of that. Um. Yeah. But also I loved Jared being kind of fine about it and Damien being miserable.
And the Peter/Hanna kiss being really awkward and Not Allowed was just awesome too.
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Date: 2012-01-13 10:23 pm (UTC)Heeheehee! The Stanton kisses were some of the most fun to write. I feel like Stanton is perfectly comfortable kissing everyone and everything and Franklin and Bash are just like, "Sure! New experiences!" Meanwhile, Damien is trying to be used to this, but there comes a line (ex: Peter) and then he just...short-circuits. Miserable!Damien is just the best.
Hee! I thought of you when I was writing that scene. Because, of course, everyone loves Hanna and Hanna's comfortable with herself, so why the conflict? And Peter's like, "Uh, CONFLICT! CON-FLICT!"
Thank you for your comment! Your words always make me smile! :D
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Date: 2012-01-05 05:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 10:23 pm (UTC)Thank you! That's the reaction I was hoping for! :D
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Date: 2012-01-09 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-13 10:23 pm (UTC)